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Help with Terminating the bad habit of Masturbation



Masturbation: A Disastrous Problem Faced by the Youth

Introduction

All praises are only for Allah. We praise Him, seek His Help and beseech Him to forgive us. We seek His Protection from the evils of our carnal selves and bad actions. None can lead astray the one whom He guides and none can guide the one whom He leads astray. We bear witness that none is worthy of worship except Allah, the One Who has no partner and Muhammed sallallahu alaihi wasallam is His slave and messenger.

The Importance of Youth

In all the phases of history, youth were the secret strength of their nations, the pillars of their progress, the cause of their honour and esteem, the tools of their future and the most important asset and useful capital in their possession. This is due to the fact that the youth are known for their spirit of courage, boldness and dedication, their purity of mind and intellect and their excess power and strength. These factors make them more capable to construct, lead and serve a nation.

The Role of Youth

In the early period of Islam, the youth played an important role in carrying and spreading the message of Islam to all the regions of the world. They also played a great role in the leadership of armies, the conquering of cities, the hoisting of the flag of Tauheed (the Oneness of Allah) and carrying the torch of hidayah (guidance). This role will always be played by the youth as long as the Muslim Ummah exists.

The Evil Planning of the Enemies of Allah

The enemies of Allah know the importance of the youth and the role they play in the construction of a nation. Hence, they have schemed various ways to eliminate and destroy this asset, to poison the thinking and minds of the youth and to plant the spirit of unsteadiness and moral depravity in their lives. Some of the despicable ways in which they achieve their objectives are as follows: To employ every possible means to stimulate and excite the natural impulse in man through:- colourful, captivating and stimulating pictorial illustrations and images; female and male actors and sport-players whom the masses have accepted in order to frame their minds in such a manner that they can be easily influenced and to give them by means of these actors and sport-players a pattern and model of life; magazines which deal with women employed in the field of fashion, art, cinemas, sports and beauty; senseless music which is directed to degrade man; collections of poetry which decreases the soul to sense its' natural feelings; imaginary and fictitious love stories and narratives sold on street-corners; and movies and films which the agents of the Jews produce to destroy the good-character of people so that it could become easy for them to rule the world. To place imaginative obstacles and impediments on the straight path at a time when shaytaan is also working hard to stimulate the passion of man. To place social, individual, mental and economical barriers to impress upon the youth that the affair of marriage is a difficult matter. This second method of the enemies of Islam is, in reality, a closure of the legal doors whereby a person could satisfy his natural desires. The Result When the desire and passion of man is stirred-up due to various influencing factors, it ventures to search for the correct path for satisfaction. Instead of finding the door open it finds it closed. Consequently, it chooses the corrupted and distorted paths. Here it finds the doors wide open.

The Effect of the Evil Planning of the Enemy

The enemies of Allah have been successful to a considerable extent in achieving their objectives. They have extracted from the Muslim Ummah such youth whose primary concern is the fulfilment of carnal appetite. These youth have surrendered to the attack of the enemies. Their greatest desire is to enter into the world of arts, sports and fashion. They have been nurtured from childhood with lust, passion and lowly-desires. When they think, they think of evil. The beating of their heart is also for evil. They live, sleep and eat yearning for vice. These youth have thus only excelled in sports, music and hair styling. When the condition of the youth has become such then the fall of the Ummah and the collapse of society is evident.

Masturbation - A Fast Spreading, Vile Act

Amongst the distorted ways towards which the youth have resorted to satisfy their lust is masturbation - a fast spreading, vile act. This vile act has become common amongst a large sector of youth. Many young boys and girls have become entrapped in the snare of masturbation. Hence, it is necessary to explain the law of Islam with regard to this evil act, to list its harms and disastrous consequences and to prescribe some medicine and treatment to root-out this shameful act. These are a few words before you, O Beloved Reader! so that it could become a brick in the building of Islamic Knowledge and a step on the straight path. May Allah grant us the ability to benefit from it. Aameen.

The Ruling Regarding Masturbation is that it is Haraam (Unlawful) This is the ruling of the 4 schools of thought viz. Malikiyah, Shafi'eyah and Hanafiyah and one riwayah (narration) from Imaam Ahmed. They have drawn their conclusions from the following proofs:- Proofs from the Quraan Allah Ta'aala says: "And those who guard their private parts save from their wives and those (slave-girls) which their right-hands own - so there is no blame upon them. Then whoever seeks beyond that (which is lawful), they are the transgressors." (Surah Al Mu'minoon : Verse 5 & 6) The intended meaning of these aayat is clear. Allah Ta'aala has praised the believers for guarding their private parts from that which He has made forbidden upon them. Allah has permitted them to approach their wives and slave-girls. Thereafter, these Words of Allah Ta'aala follow:- Whoever seeks beyond that which is lawful are oppressors who overstep from halaal (permitted) towards haraam (prohibited). Hafiz Ibne Katheer Rahmatullah alaihi writes: "Imaam Shaafie Rahmatullah alaihi and those who have agreed with him have concluded that masturbation is haraam from this aayah." He says: "Masturbation is excluded from these two types which Allah has made halaal, viz. wives and slave-girls."

Similarly, these Fuqahaa (Jurists) have drawn their conclusion from the following aayah: "And those who do not find the means to marry should remain chaste until Allah gives them resources by His Grace." (Surah Al Mu'minoon : Verse 32) This aayah shows masturbation to be haraam because of two reasons: Firstly: In this aayah Allah Ta'aala has given the command of chastity and, according to the principles of fiqh, a command (an imperative) denotes wujoob (incumbency, obligation). Hence to remain chaste is wajib (compulsory) and wherever chastity is wajib it becomes wajib to refrain from that which is contrary to it, for example, adultery, fornication, and sodomy. This is due to the fact that obligatory chastity will not materialize except by complete refrainment from all that which is contrary to chastity.

Secondly, In this aayah Allah Ta'aala has made chastity obligatory on those who are unable to execute the command of nikah. Here Allah Ta'aala has not determined any connection or link between marriage and chastity. Hence, this demands that masturbation should be haraam. And if assuming, it was permissible, then Allah Ta'aala would have mentioned it at this point because this was the place of its explanation. The silence maintained by Allah Ta'aala with regards to it at a place which requires its explanation, denotes that masturbation is haraam. Imaam Qurtubi Rahmatullah alaihi has written in the tafseer of this aayah: "And when Allah Ta'aala has not determined any order between nikah and chastity, then this shows that besides these two, everything else is haraam. However, this hurmat (unlawfulness) does not include slave-girls because another command of the Quraan makes them mubaah (permissible), viz. "That which the right-hands earn (i.e. slave girls)." Hence in this matter an addition of slave-girl has come. Masturbation, however still remains haraam."

"Those who seek beyond this (i.e wives and slave girls] are transgressors." (Surah Ma'aarij : Verse 31) Under the tafseer of this aayah, Qadhi Thanaullah Paani Patti writes: "Imaam Baghawi has deduced from this aayat that masturbation is haraam.

Proofs from the Ahaadeeth

1. Similarly, the Fuqahaa have drawn their conclusion from a hadeeth reported by Abdullah bin Mas'ud Radiallahu anhu in Bukhari and Muslim. He says that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "O group of youth! Whoever from amongst you can marry should do so because it keeps the gaze low and it protects the private parts. And he who cannot marry should make it compulsory upon himself to fast because it breaks lust." (Bukhari : vol.6, pg.117 ; Muslim: vol.10, pg.172) Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam has directed the person who is incapable of bearing the burden of nikah towards saum (fasting). If assuming, masturbation was permissible Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam would have mentioned it at this point. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam however, maintained silence. Hence, this indicates that masturbation is haraam because the maintaining of silence at the place of explanation gives the benefit of restriction. 2. Some of the fuqahaa have drawn their conclusion from a narration reported by Hasan bin Arfah that Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "Seven persons are such that Allah will not look at them on the Day of Qiyaamah nor will He purify them nor will He include them amongst the learned and Allah will enter them into Jahannum. They will enter Jahannum first except for those who repent. As for those who repent Allah will accept their repentance. A person who masturbates. A person who performs the act of sodomy. The person upon whom the act of sodomy is performed. A perpetual drunkard The person who hits his parents so much so that they appeal for help. The person who harms his neighbours so much so that they curse him. The person who commits adultery with his neighbour's wife." (Ibn Katheer: vol.5, pg.458) 3. Hadhrat Anas Radiallahu anhu narrates that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "The person who performs nikaah with his hands (i.e. he masturbates) is cursed." (Tasfseer Mazhari: vol.12, pg.94)

Sayings of our Pious Predecessors with Regard to Masturbation Sa'eed bin Jubair Radiallahu anhu says: "Allah Ta'aala will inflict a punishment on a group of people because they played with their private parts." Attaa Rahmatullah alaihi says: "Some people will be resurrected in such a condition that their hands will be pregnant, I think they are those who masturbate."

The Harms of Masturbation

Every harm is the result of sins. Hence, the harms of masturbation proves that it is a sin. Why should it not be so when sins are the root of misfortune and the key to all vices. Ibne Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi says: "The reason for every loss, misfortune and evil in this world and the hereafter is sin and opposing the Laws and Commands of Allah Ta'aala. Moreover, sin destroys bounties and blessings as fire burns wood. It is possible to divide the harms of this vile act as follows: Shar'i (Religious) Harms The Shar'ee harms are many. Some of them are as follows: a decrease in taufeeq (success granted by Allah Ta'aala); corrupt ideas; hard-heardtedness, an aversion towards people, cheerlessness in the heart and to be deprived of knowledge. The greatest spiritual harm caused by this evil act is the inability to remain steadfast on Deen. As long as a person is entangled in this evil habit, shaytaan will gradually remove him from his friends until he dislikes their company. Thereafter, shaytaan will draw him into the mud of desires until he is deprived altogether from remaining steadfast on Deen. How many youth have been deprived of Tahajjud, fasting, recitation of the Quraan, acquiring knowledge, associating with friends, etc. because of the commission of this evil. A person who commits this sin becomes weak in front of shaytaan and his nafs-e-ammarah (lowly-self) instructs him to do evil. Hence, he will not have the ability to oppose his nafs in order to carry out the Commands of Allah Ta'aala. Hasan Basri Rahmatullah alaihi has said: "A person deprives himself of performing Tahajjud by committing sins." Moreover, masturbation causes the bladder to become weak. Consequently, involuntary urinal and seminal discharges occur from the private parts. This causes complications in wudhu, salaah and cleanliness of the clothes.

Physical Harms

Undoubtedly, masturbation causes physical harm - although some have exaggerated its harms - nevertheless, medical science has proven that masturbation is a cause of a number of diseases. Amongst them are: It weakens the sexual organs and creates partial looseness in it. It weakens the nerves generally - a result of the exertion caused by this action. It affects the growth of the limbs especially the outer part of the urethra (duct through which urine is discharged from the bladder and the testicles). Hence it does not reach the limit of it's normal growth. It creates seminal (spermatic) inflammation in the testicles which causes quick ejaculation of sperm. It causes pain in the vertebra column, the spinal column from which semen is ejaculated. This pain creates crookedness and twisting in the back. It causes some limbs like the legs to shake and shiver. It creates weakness in the cerebral glands of the brain which in turn weakens the power of perception and reason. Similarly, it leads to the weakness of memory. It weakens the eye-sight and reduces it's normal limit of vision. It causes a person to become old before time. It weakens the very delicate and fine nerves and veins of the sexual organs resulting in sexual impotency. It causes an excessive loss of sperm by way of nocturnal emission (wet dreams). It decreases the natural resistance of the body. It causes harm to the four principal organs in the body viz. the heart, brain, liver and stomach. It decreases the natural animal heat in the body, heat which strengthens the soul and body. It causes an excessive loss of blood. Remember it takes 80 drops of blood to produce one drop of sperm. It weakens the bladder.

Psychological and Social Harms

The psychologists say: "Here the awareness of a misdeed and the feeling of a sin occurs to those youth who practice this vile act in such a way that within themselves there is struggle between the desire to practice this vile act and the remorseful feeling of a sin." Excessive practice of this vile act leads to cowardice, an increase in nervous agitation, no confidence in oneself, overwhelming disgrace, a decrease in the urge to study and desire towards isolation and introversion. Similarly, excessive practice of this evil act leads towards it's addiction and attachment. Instead of practising it to rid oneself of an irresistible desire or to unleash a violent eruption of desire within oneself a person does it as a habit to attain and satisfy his carnal appetite and desire. Ibn Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi has said: "Many sinners sin without deriving any pleasure from it and without any urge to do it except that they experience pain in quitting it."

A Fatwa (Shari'i Ruling) on Masturbation

Question:Is masturbation equal to zinaa (adultery) in sin? If a person masturbates while fasting does his fast break? Some people say that masturbation is not a sin. Please explain, you will be rewarded.

Answer: To masturbate is a grave sin. Such a person has been cursed in the hadeeth. It breaks the fast. To keep a qadhaa fast (another fast in place of the broken one) is Waajib, However, there is no kaffaraah (atonement). It is recorded in Sharhut Tanweer that masturbation breaks the fast.

The Treatment

In fact, many people are well aware of Islam's ruling with regard to masturbation and they are convinced of it's hurmat (unlawfulness) and the resulting harm which is, of course, the first step in it's treatment. However, there exists a deficiency in understanding the way to treat this chronic disease, the way to release oneself from the captivity of this defiant desire and the knowledge of the means which will help in subjugating the nafs and carnal appetite in order to free oneself from this bad habit. In addition, there also exists a lack of those words which will breathe into a person the spirit of determination, the power of intention and the revival of the sweetness of Imaan and the noor of yaqeen (conviction) in the heart. This is most needed by those involved in this bad habit. Hence, it is necessary to give importance to this topic. It is hoped that Allah Azza wa Jalla will grant benefit by some of the treatments mentioned hereunder especially from that which has been taken from His Words, the words of His Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam and the words of the Ulama.

a. Taubah and Istighfaar (Repentance and Seeking Forgiveness)

Imaam Ghazaali Rahmatullah alaihi writes: "The angels and Ambiyaa alaihimus salaam are such that they never commit any sin. Shaytaan is such that he persists in committing sins. Never does he ever feel ashamed nor does he ever think of discarding sin. The human is such that immediately after committing a sin he feels ashamed and makes a firm determination to discard the sin in the future. From this it is understood that not to repent after committing a sin is the work of Shaytaan." Hence it is necessary for those involved in this vile act of masturbation to make taubah and istighfaar. No sin should be magnified so much that it creates despair and loss of hope in the forgiveness of Allah Ta'aala since this is Kufr (disbelief) nor should it be treated so lightly that there is no taubah nor any regret. Look at the Mercy of the Being Who is most Merciful of those who show mercy. A person continuously commits a sin and as soon as he repents he is forgiven and he becomes the beloved of Allah Ta'aala. It is reported in the Hadeeth that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "The person who repents from sin is the beloved of Allah and he becomes like those who have not committed any sin." (Ibne Majah) However, it is necessary that the taubah be a sincere one. Sincere taubah consists of three essential parts. Firstly, a person should feel ashamed of the sin he committed. It has been mentioned in the hadeeth: "To feel ashamed is taubah." Secondly, to immediately discard the sin committed and to resolve on abstaining from it in future. Thirdly, to make amends, to compensate for the sin. If a person makes taubah in this manner he becomes a favourite of Allah Ta'aala despite the type or number of sins he committed. To illustrate the virtue of taubah, Imaam Ghazaali Rahmatullah alaihi mentions the example of a person who fell in love with his neighbour's wife. For some reason the neighbour sent his wife to another locality. This person followed her and after finding an opportunity expressed his desire for her. The women said: "Don't do anything evil. I love you more than what you love me but the fear of Allah has overpowered me." The person said: "How is it that you fear Allah Ta'aala and I don't." Saying this he made taubah and returned. He became very thirsty en route. He became so thirsty that he almost lost his life. While he was in this condition he met a messenger of the Nabi of that time. He told this messenger: "I have no good deeds to my credit whereby I could make du'aa. You make du'aa and I will say aameen." After the du'aa was made a very thick cloud shaded them. The two of them continued their journey with the cloud shading them until they came to a point of separation. When they separated, the cloud continued to shade this person and not the messenger. The messenger said: "How is it that you told me that you have no good deeds to your credit. Please inform me of your condition." The person explained the whole incident after which the messenger said: "A person who repents sincerely reaches such heights in the Sight of Allah Ta'aala where others cannot reach."

b. Fasting (Saum)

Our Trustworthy Advisor, Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam has directed those persons who are unable to marry and bear it's burden to fast. Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "O Group of youth! Those amongst you who have the ability to marry should marry because it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts. And those who cannot marry should fast because fasting breaks desires." Fasting increases the strength of intention in a person and through it he is able to subjugate his desires. The person who is able to refrain from that which Allah Ta'aala has made halaal, like food and drink, is much more capable of refraining from that which Allah Ta'aala has made haraam. Similarly, fasting increases the fear and awe of Allah Ta'aala within a person. On the contrary, excessive eating and drinking helps in stimulating and arousing desires in a person. Therefore, some youth complain that after eating they feel a strong, irresistible urge within themselves to practice this vile act. Thus to stop the nafs from eating and drinking for a certain period of time helps in breaking the lowly-desire and lessening the current of desires which flow within the body. Many youth have tried this prophetic treatment and found it to be beneficial and curing. Consider these two ahadeeth of our Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam: It is reported from Abdullah bin 'Amr Radiallahu anhu that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "Fasting and the Qur'aan will intercede for a servant. Fasting will say: "O my Rabb! I prevented him from food and desires during the day so accept my intercession on his behalf." The Quraan will say: "I prevented him from sleep during the night so accept my intercession on his behalf." Hence, the intercession of both will be accepted." (Mishkaat: pg.173) Abu Hurairah Radiallahu anhu reports that Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "For everything there is a purifier and the purifier of the body is fasting." (Mishkaat: pg.180) Some of the optional fasts that could be observed are:- the six optional fasts of Shawwal, to fast every Monday and Thursday, to fast three days every month, to fast every second day (the fast of Nabi Dawood Alaihis salaam), to fast on the 9th and 10th or 10th and 11th of Muharram, to fast during the first nine days of Zil Hijjah, to fast on the 13th, 14th and 15th of every lunar month, etc.

c. The Awareness of Allah Ta'aala

A person's realization, knowledge and conviction (yaqeen) that Allah Ta'aala is thoroughly acquainted with what he does; Allah Ta'aala is seeing him and listening to all that he speaks at all times; Allah Ta'aala knows his secret thoughts and conversations and Allah Ta'aala knows the treachery of the eyes and that which the hearts conceal is sufficient to prevent him from that which Allah Ta'aala dislikes. It is impossible for a heart which knows and understands the meaning of the Names of Allah Ta'aala like: - The All Observing; The All-Knowing; The All-Hearing and The All-Seeing to resort to sin or to persist in it. Indifference to and ignorance of the meaning of these names drives a person to disobey the All-Knowing, the Most Merciful. Beloved Reader! Remember that Allah Ta'aala is thoroughly acquainted with all that you do and He sees you when you perpetrate this great sin. Closely examine what Allah Ta'aala says: "Allah Ta'aala knows the treachery of the eyes and that which the hearts conceal." (Surah Ghaafir: verse 19) When you dislike that those whom you honour and respect should see you committing this sin, then how is it pleasing to you that your Creator and Sustainer, the Being in whose Control are the matters of this world should see you in a condition which angers Him. Ibne Abbas Radiallahu anhu said: "O Sinners! Do not feel safe from the temptation and evil-consequences of sinning. Not fearing Allah Ta'aala is a greater sin than the sin you commit in your home fearing that you will be disgraced if the wind blows the curtain of your door." Ibne Jauzi Rahmatullah alaihi says: "By the Oath of Allah, a person's thirst to commit a sin will only be quenched when, despite having the ardent desire and capability to do it, realises that Allah Ta'aala is looking at him, feels ashamed and, consequently, discards the sin." How excellently an Arab poet has said: "Whenever you pass time any day do not say," I have passed time," but rather say, "Upon me is an observer," (i.e. Allah). Never regard Allah to be unmindful for even a short while. That which is hidden never vanishes from His Sight." Hadhrat Sheikh Maulana Mohammed Zakariyyah Rahmatullah alaihi quotes the following incident in Fadhaail-e-Sadaqaat: Once Abdullah bin Umar Radiallahu anhu was going on a journey outside Madinah Munawwarah in the company of his pupils when a shepherd passed by with his herd of goats. He greeted them by saying: "Assalaamu'alaikum." In order to test him Ibne Umar Radiallahu anhu said to him: "We want to purchase a goat by paying a price. We shall slaughter it and give you some of the meat for Iftaar." (The shepherd was fasting). The shepherd said: "These are not my goats. I am only a slave and the goats belong to my master." Ibne Umar Radiallahu anhu said: "How can your master know? You can tell him that a wolf devoured a goat." At this the shepherd pointed towards the heavens and said: "Fa'ainallah (where is Allah?) i.e. that Pure Being is seeing. When He is seeing then how could I say a wolf devoured a goat." Ibne Umar Radiallahu anhu was delighted and with enjoyment began repeating: "A simple shepherd says, Ainallah, 'Ainallah ' (Where is Allah?, Where is Allah?)." When Ibne Umar Radiallahu anhu returned to Madinah Munawwarah, he bought the slave together with the herd of goats from his master. Thereafter he freed the slave and presented the herd of goats as a gift to him. This was the condition of the shepherds of that time. In the midst of the desert they were aware that Allah Ta'aala is looking!

d. Lowering the Gaze

The temptation to look at that which Allah Ta'aala has forbidden is the root of all evil desires. Ibne Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi writes: "The gaze is the prowler and the messenger of desires. It's protection is, in reality, the protection of the private-parts. The person who does not control his gaze throws himself into the places of destruction. Allah Ta'aala has made the eyes the mirror of the heart.

When a servant lowers his gaze the heart decreases its desires and when he sets his gaze free, the heart also sets its desires free. This is the reason why Allah Ta'aala has first ordered the lowering of the gaze at the instance when He commands the protection of the private-parts in Suratun Noor. Allah Ta'aala says: "Say (O Nabi (Sallallahu alaihi wasallam!) to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and protect their private parts. This is more purer for them. Indeed Allah is Well-Aware of what they do." The person who lets his eyes wander about inconveniences his mind, harms his soul, injures his heart, causes unending distress to himself and above all wastes his time." Ibne Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi writes: "The beginning of a huge fire is small sparks. Likewise, the beginning of every accident and mishap is the gaze. Firstly, it is just a gaze, then it becomes a thought, thereafter a step and finally, a sin." An Arab poet has a right to say with regard to those who lower their gaze and fight their desires: A brave person is not he who stirs-up his riding-animal on the day of the battle when the fire of combat flares-up, But a youth who lowers his gaze and turns-away his eyes from haraam (forbidden things), he indeed is a brave, heroic horseman. Hadhrat Hakeem Muhammed Akhtar Saheb writes: "A person who protects his gaze is rewarded by the Being Who created the gaze. Consider this hadeeth: "It is reported from Abdullah bin Mas'ud Radiallahu anhu that the person who guards his gaze (i.e. he protects his gaze from strange women and handsome young lads and bears the difficulty of not looking at them then, through the Mercy of Allah) he will taste the sweetness of Imaan in his heart." Hadhrat Sheikh Rahmatullah alaihi quotes the following incidents in his book, Fadhaail-e-Zikr: A person was on his death-bed. People reminded him to recite the kalimah. He said: "I cannot read it." When the people asked him the reason for this he replied: "A woman came to buy a towel from my shop. Looking at her pleased me. Hence I continued to look at her."

e. To Develop a Firm Will / Determination

Only those people whose intentions and firm will has weakened have become the slaves of their desires. Hence, they are incapable of controlling their desires and opposing their passions. How many people are there who know that this affair is forbidden and that this matter is a sin yet they are too weak to abstain from it. For example, look at those who smoke cigarettes. In reality, we find most of them knowing the harms of smoking. Despite this if you address any smoker and remind him of its harms he will reply to you that he knows all this very well and desires to free himself of this "killer friend" but yet he is unable to do so. Why? Because he does not possess a firm intention by means of which he will be able to abandon this bad habit. For this reason if a person reads all the books on bad habits and comes to know of all the means which will free him from these bad habits but he does not possess a strong intention nor a firm will then he will not progress a step forward. Therefore, it is necessary upon all of us to make an effort to develop our intentions, strengthen our resolutions and build our minds and souls by observing the following points: To strive to acquire good character. Good character like knowledge, tolerance, patience are such that it is within a person's scope to acquire. Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam has said: "The person who seeks chastity, Allah Ta'aala keeps him chaste. The person who seeks independence, Allah Ta'aala makes him independent and the person who is patient Allah Ta'aala grants him patience." When a servant burdens himself with a firm intention and he strives to acquire it, it becomes his nature and character. Allah Ta'aala says: "And those who strive in Our Way We will definitely guide them to Our Paths." To inculcate good character gradually. Good character is not acquired all at once or by a little effort. To acquire good character it is necessary for a person to practice upon it gradually until it becomes his nature which he can do without any strain or inconvenience. A person should realize the Greatness, Loftiness, Oneness and Independence of Allah Ta'aala. He should not rely on his own strength and power. He should rely only on Allah Ta'aala. Allah Ta'aala says: "Then when you have taken a decision, put your trust in Allah. And Allah Ta'aala loves those who put their trust (in Him)."

The person who recognizes Allah Ta'aala more will fear Him more. A person should develop within himself the Fear of Allah because this is the strongest means whereby he could oppose his desire. Allah Ta'aala says: "And as for him who feared to stand before his Lord and restrained his soul from lust, verily Jannah will be his abode." (Surah Al Naazi'aat: verse 40 & 41) When the Fear of the Exalted is found in the heart of a person, forbidden desires are burnt and the perpetration of sin is stopped. A person should increase his firm determination by abandoning comfort in some permissible matters so that his nafs could be strengthened in abandoning the prohibited things. For example, to strengthen one's determination, abstain from excessive soft-drinks, tea, sleeping etc. In this manner a person will become strong enough to abandon that which is more difficult. With regards to this a poet says: The nafs is like an infant, if you leave it, it will grow up with the love of suckling and if you wean it (accustom it to food other than it's mother's milk) it will abstain.

f. To Struggle against One's Inclinations, Thoughts and Desires.

It is known that actions are originally thoughts which occur in the mind. These thoughts then turn into desires. Thereafter, these desires become firm intentions and, finally, these firm intentions are transformed into actions. From this you could conclude the importance of thoughts. If there is correctness of thoughts then desires and actions will be correct and, similarly, if there is corruption in thoughts then this will lead to evil desires and actions. According to the Hadeeth Shareef, Allah Ta'aala overlooks thoughts as long as these thoughts are not given practical expression. There are five stages in thoughts viz. Haajis - This is a thought which in the beginning produces no reaction in the nafs. Khaatir - If one fails to eliminate the haajis thought and it establishes it's presence in the nafs but the nafs does not give it practical expression then this thought enters the Khaatir stage. Hadeethun nafs - In this stage the nafs ponders whether it should put into action or negate the thought which has established itself without giving preference to any side.

NB. The law regarding these three stages is that there is no punishment if the thought is evil and no reward if the thought is good. Hamm - In this stage the nafs partially inclines to one side (i.e. whether to commit or shun the act). In this stage reward is given if the thought is good and punishment if evil. 'Azm - In this stage a decision is made to give practical expression. Reward and punishment are applicable to this stage as well. (Shari'ah and Tasawwuf) Man cannot cause death to his thought nor can he put a stop to it because thoughts are like breath without which a person cannot live. Therefore, it is essential to remedy and rectify thoughts. This is more simpler than rectifying desires and actions. To rectify evil thoughts in the beginning is much more easier than to discontinue it after it has been established. For this reason, the famous spiritual heart surgeon, Ibne Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi has advised us: "Save yourself from establishing shaytaan in the house of your thoughts because he will ruin and destroy it to such an extent that it will be difficult to repair it. Shaytaan will fling at you various types of destructing temptations and thoughts and he will intervene between you and beneficial thoughts." Hereunder follows some ways whereby thoughts could be rectified: Absolute knowledge that Allah Ta'aala is surely acquainted and aware of these thoughts. To realise that like our actions, our thoughts also have to be according to the Pleasure and Command of Allah Ta'aala. To realize that evil and bad thoughts produce nothing except regret, shame and disgrace and nothing is achieved by it. It is like a hungry person who thinks of food and drink which he cannot eat or drink. An ardent desire to remove and repulse these evil thoughts from the mind gradually, and to replace it by creating good thoughts like reflecting and pondering in the Blessings and Bounties of Allah Ta'aala on mankind. To think of the vices of the nafs and the shortcomings of A'maal and ways of rectifying it. To think of ways and means of calling people towards goodness. To ponder about Jannah, Jahannum, death and the horrors of the Aakhirah and to think about ways of living an upright life. The following incident quoted by Maulana Siddique Ahmed Saheb Mudda Zilluhu illustrates how a student of Deen rectified his evil thoughts: A divine narrates that a student was studying in the city of Dehli. This student lived in a masjid. In that locality, a young lady was on her way to visit some of her relatives when, incidentally, a riot broke out. The young lady could not find any place of refuge except this masjid. The night had already set in. When the student saw this young lady he excused himself and ordered her to leave the masjid. He told her: "It is not appropriate for you to remain here because if the local people see you here then this will be a cause for my disgrace. They will remove me from the masjid and this will cause harm to my studies." The young lady explaining her condition said: "A riot has broken out in the locality and if I leave the masjid I fear that I would be dishonoured." The student kept quiet and asked her to sit in one corner. Thereafter the student returned to his room and engaged himself in studying the whole night. While studying he continuously placed his finger tip on the flame of his lamp. The young lady carefully observed this. At the break of dawn the student told the young lady: "The riot has subsided and the road is safe. Let me take you to your home." The young lady said: "I will not return home until you reveal to me the secret for repeatedly placing your finger tip on the flame of your lamp." The student said: "You should not concern yourself with that." Nevertheless, the young lady persisted with her request. The student finally said: "Shaytaan repeatedly whispered into my heart and encouraged me to do evil with you. Hence I placed my finger tip on the flame and addressed myself thus: When you cannot bear the heat of the fire of this world then how will you ever bear the painful fire of Jahannum. Allah, through His Grace, protected me." Hearing this the young lady returned to her home. She was the daughter of a wealthy person and she was about to be engaged to the son of another wealthy person. After this incident she refused the proposal and said: "I desire to marry a certain student who lives in such and such a masjid." Her parents and relatives tried to convince her and many began entertaining bad thoughts about her. When she observed this she explained to them the whole incident and said: "I will only marry him because he has the fear of Allah in his heart and whoever fears Allah cannot cause harm to anyone." Finally, she was married to that student and he became very wealthy. (Aadaabul Muta'allimeen: pg.23)

g. To Occupy One's Time and to Utilize One's Capabilities Correctly

Free time is amongst the major doors through which desires penetrate and sins enter. When a person has free time and he does not occupy it in the obedience of Allah Ta'aala then inevitably it will be used in the disobedience of Allah Ta'aala. Therefore, you will find most of those involved in this evil act complaining about free time which draws them into this sin. Beloved brothers! If you wish for salvation and freedom from this sin as well as others, then have the sincere desire to utilize your time in that which pleases Allah Ta'aala. Take advantage of seconds before hours pass by, occupy your time with obedience and worship and be cautious of free time because this is the root of all misfortunes. Similarly, have a sincere desire to utilize your capabilities correctly and benefit from them according to your ability. The person who feels that he has abundance of strength and power should, instead of directing it in the disobedience of Allah Ta'aala, use it in the obedience of Allah Ta'aala and in those avenues which will be beneficial to him in this world and the aakhirah. For example, he should engage himself in the acquisition of knowledge. in giving da'wah (calling) towards Allah Ta'aala (i.e. by participating in the work of Tableegh and Da'wah), in the spreading of good amongst mankind, by sitting in the company of the 'Ulema etc. Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "Take advantage of five things before five: of your youth before old age, of your health before illness, of your wealth before poverty, of your free-time before occupation and your life before death." (Mustadrak lil Haakim)

h. To Read the Incidents of the Ambiyaa and the Pious

Amongst those things which help man control his desires is to read and ponder over the incidents of our pious predecessors - how they controlled their desires and realised the presence of Allah Ta'aala. Consider, for example, the incident of the Nabi of Allah, Yousuf (alaihis salaam). It is an amazing and strange incident. All the means and requirements of temptation which had not gathered for anyone before, gathered for Yousuf (alaihis salaam). He was an extremely handsome young slave who was still a bachelor. She (Zuleikha) was a lady of beauty and dignity. Yousuf (alaihis salaam) was living in her house, etc. Despite all this Yousuf (alaihis salaam) preferred the Pleasure and Fear of Allah Ta'aala over all these temptations. He chose the prison instead of fornication. Allah Ta'aala says: "He (Yousuf 'alaihis salaam) said: "The prison is more beloved to me than that towards which they call me." Similarly, consider the incident of those three people who were closed in a cave. One of them made dua'a that he had a paternal female cousin whom he loved the most. When he influenced her and sat upon her as a husband would sit upon his wife she reminded him of ALLAH TA'AALA. Consequently, he turned away from her even though he still loved her the most. Such types of incidents must be read. In doing so a person will understand the extreme fear our pious predecessors possessed for Allah Ta'aala. A person should make an effort to follow these pious personalities in abandoning their desires and seeking the Pleasure of Allah Ta'aala. Allah Ta'aala says: "In their stories (i.e. the stories of the Ambiyaa) there is a lesson for men of intelligence." (Surah Yuusuf: verse 111)

i. To Occupy the Nafs when Desires Overwhelm a Person

When there is a persisting inclination to commit this bad habit, a person should make it compulsory upon himself to occupy his nafs in whatever way possible. For example, he should leave his home to visit one of his friends if the time is appropriate or he should mix with his family members. He should not remain alone. He should recite the Quraan, make Zikr (remember Allah) or he should do some prescribed physical exercises, etc. The important thing is that he should not be driven towards sin by these evil and bad thoughts.

j. The Recollection of Depression and Sorrow after the Fulfilment of Desires

A person drowned in desires should reflect upon his condition after he has fulfilled and satisfied his desire. He should ask himself: Have I found the pleasure and comfort I am searching for after fulfilling my desire? It is the Wisdom of Allah Ta'aala that whenever a Muslim fulfils a forbidden desire he feels unhappy, distressed, depressed, miserable and ashamed to such an extent that these feelings compel him to repent. Thus a sinner is afflicted with an unending sadness, misery and disgrace. Ibne Mubarak (RA) has said: "I have seen sins deadening the heart. It's addiction causes disgrace. The abandoning of sins is life for the hearts. It is best for you to oppose your nafs." Hence an intelligent person will sacrifice temporary pleasure which results in unending misery for eternal pleasure.

k. Du'aa

Why cannot du'aa be a treatment? Du'aa is a guaranteed way of seeking a cure from that Being who is Kind, Merciful, Forgiver of mistakes and errors. Du'aa means to implore and to beg before that Being Who is All Powerful and by whose command everything happens. Verily du'aa is the most beneficial treatment and it has many benefits especially when a person earnestly makes those du'aas which have been narrated from Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam by sincerely turning towards Allah Ta'aala and considering the times of acceptance. Allah Ta'aala says: "Call Me and I will answer you." (Surah Ghaafir: verse 80) Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "Verily your Lord is Modest and Kind. When a slave lifts both his hands towards Allah then He (Allah) feels shy to return them empty-handed and disappointed." (Abu Dawood, Tirmidhi) Ibne Qayyim Rahmatullah alaihi presents to us the condition of this person in a unique style. He says: "Such a person personally experiences himself to be like that boy who is in the protection of his father. His father provides him with the best of food, drink and clothes. He gives him the best training and causes him to progress to the degree of perfection. One day his father sends him on an errand. An enemy confronts him on his way, kidnaps him and ties his hands behind his back. He then takes him to a foreign land. Here he is inflicted with injuries and tortured. He is treated unlike how his father treated him. Hence from time to time he recalls the kind treatment of his father. Whenever he reflects on his condition it stirs a burning anguish in his heart. He remembers all that which he enjoyed before. His enemy finally decides to kill him. Suddenly he sees his father near him. He runs, throws himself and falls in front of his father seeking his help: "O My Father! Help me! O My father! Help me! O My father! Help me! Look at my condition." His tears roll down his cheeks. He embraces his father and clings to him while his enemy pursues him until he reaches him. The boy still clings and holds his father firmly. Now would you say that the father will hand over his son in this condition to the enemy? Will the father allow the enemy to take his son? Definitely not. So then what is your thought about that Being who is more Merciful on His slave than a father to his son. Allah will most certainly help and protect that slave who advances towards Him, flees from the enemy towards Him, throws himself in sajdah before His Door, rubbing his forehead upon the ground beneath His Door, crying before Him saying: "O My Rabb! O My Rabb! O My Rabb! Have Mercy. None can give shelter except Thee. None can aid except Thee. I am in need of Thee. I asked Thee. I am hopeful of Thee. You are the Place of Refuge and the Protector." How aptly has an Arab poet not said: O You who sees the mosquito spread its wings in the jet-black darkness of the night, Who sees its hanging veins in its throat and the marrow in those thin slender bones! Inspire me with such repentance which will efface all the wrong I committed previously.

l. To Avoid those things which Stimulate the Desires

Normally, the natural desire in man remains stable as long as it is not exposed to those scenes and sounds which incite it. When it finds a stimulating factor - whether sound or picture it is incited. At such an instance a person is forced to give practical expression to his desire. Now if a person does not have a wife in whom he can find tranquillity, or such Imaan which will contain this desire, then certainly, such a person will resort to this evil habit of masturbation... Hence, it is necessary for those youth who intend to safe-guard and cure themselves to abstain from places of temptation and evil and all other stimulating factors. Scantily clad, naked women should not be looked at. Theatres and playhouses should not be visited. Serialized and evil films should not be viewed. Shameless and morally deprived songs should not be heard. Shopping centres or schools set aside exclusively for women should be avoided. Co-educational institutions should not be attended. Institutions where non-mahram teachers are employed should also be avoided. Evil magazines and newspapers should not be allowed into the house and shameless novels should not be read. Telephonic conversions with strange women should be avoided. A strange woman should not be addressed in a loving and soft tone. As far as possible a person should strive to avoid even the means of fitnah (mischief). A person who circles around the border is likely to fall therein. Strange is the condition of that person who intentionally stimulates his desire and inflames his natural impulse after which he goes to the Ulema saying: "I want a solution!!!, I want a taweez (amulet)!!!"

m. To Remember Death

The remembrance of the demolisher of pleasures helps in sobering the intoxication of passions and desires. For this reason Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam has encouraged the excessive remembrance of the destroyer of pleasures. Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam has said: "Excessively remember the destroyer of pleasures." (Tirmidhi, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah) Ibne Jawzee Rahmatullah alaihi has said: "How excellent is the condition of he who remembers death, prepares for his salvation before he dies, occupies himself in the service of his Master, advances from his worldly possession that which will aid him in the hereafter and inclines towards that house wherein there are eternal bounties and where the honoured are not disgraced. O You whose life comprises of limited breaths and upon whom there is a recording supervisor! Do not forget death, for death will not forget you. Remember your condition, O Neglectful person! The day you will be turned on the wash stand between the hands of those giving you ghusl. On that day your strength will disappear and your wealth will be snatched away from you. You will be taken away from your friends, prepared for your grave, handed over to the worms and deposited between the graves. Thereafter, a few tears will be shed upon you and you will be forgotten. O Neglectful person! If it were known to us that none will die from amongst us except an unspecified person then too it is incumbent upon us not to allow our tears from ceasing to flow out of fear for death. So how should we behave when we are convinced that none will remain alive from amongst us. Hence, fear Allah, fear Allah, O Servants of Allah! Prepare for death as if it has come upon you and your wives have become widows, your children orphans and you have been separated from your family and friends." One Sahaabi was advised by Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam: "Remember death excessively, this will remove your inclination for other things." In another Hadeeth it is reported: "Remember death excessively. Whoever remembers death excessively his heart becomes alive and death becomes easy for him." Ibrahim Taimi Rahmatullah alaihi says: "Two things caused the termination of all worldly pleasures in me. Firstly death and secondly the concern of standing in front of Allah Ta'aala on the Day of Qiyaamah." (Maut ki Yaad)

n. To Sleep Only when it is Necessary & to Sleep in a state of Tahaarah (Cleanliness) and by Reading the duas before sleeping

Many of those entrapped in this evil habit feel a strong urge to practice it when they retire and prepare to sleep especially after having eaten excessively. Therefore, it is necessary that such youth should not retire to bed unless there is a real need to sleep. They should sleep in the state of tahaarah on their right-hand sides. The du'as for sleeping which are reported from Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam should be read. Evil-thoughts should be dispelled by reading Subhaanallah, La ilaha illallah, Lahawla walaa qoowata illa billah, the recitation of the Quraan or listening to it until sleep overpowers one. If possible it is better to sleep in the presence of another person. A person should meditate while lying on the bed that sleep is the sister of death. It is possible that he will not awake from this sleep for how many people went to sleep but never awoke therefrom.

o. Good, Pious Friendship

This is a very important part of the treatment. It applies in the beginning, middle and end, rather the treatment is incomplete without it. A person should spend everything within his ability to acquire good friendship. The importance of good, pious friendship cannot be over-emphasised. Good company is so blessed that the dog of Ashaabe Kahf (the Companions of the Cave) was honoured because of their blessed company. Ibne Atiyya Rahmatullah alaihi says: "My father informed me that he heard Abul Fadhl Jawhari Rahmatullah alaihi delivering a lecture in the year 469 Hijri in the Jami Masjid of Misr (Egypt). He said: "Those who choose good companions also receive a portion of their goodness. Look! The dog of Ashaabe Kahf was in their company so Allah Ta'aala mentioned the dog in the Quraan." Qurtubi Rahmatullah alaihi narrates from Ibne Atiyya Rahmatullah alaihi that the latter said: "When a dog reached such a stage because of his companionship with the pious then you can well imagine how high will the stage of those believers be who keep company with the pious friends of Allah." (Maa'riful Quraan: vol.5, pg.556) Generally, it is impossible for a person to live alone, without any friends who will walk along with him on the path of life. When a person is deprived of pious, sincere friends who will remind him about the truth then most certainly his evil friends will take him to an evil environment. Here he will live in a world which is filled with drugs, adultery, fornication, liquor, etc. Many youth who are involved in this evil learnt it because of bad company. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam has explained to us the importance of good, pious, sincere friends. Nabi sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "A person is on the religion of his friend. Hence, you should see who you befriend." (Abu Dawood, Tuirmidhi, Ahmad) In another Hadeeth it is reported that a pious companion is better than solitude. (Baihaqi)

p. To Consult A Physician / Hakeem

Some youngsters need to consult a psychologist or a urologist (a doctor who is well versed in the sexual organs) so that they could be helped in the treatment. There are some medicines which dampen and calm the natural passion. Sometimes psychological factors also cause a person to practice this vile act. Therefore, a treatment should be sought by consulting those well-versed in this field.

q. Marriage

The most beneficial treatment of this vile habit is marriage. It is a recommended Shar'ee means to satisfy the natural desire. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam has urged the youth to marry. Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: "O Assembly of youth! Those who are able to marry should marry because it lowers the gaze and protects the private parts. And those who are unable to marry should make fasting compulsory upon themselves because it breaks the desires." Because of the indication of this hadeeth many Ulama are of the opinion that marriage is Waajib (compulsory) upon the person who is capable and in need of marriage especially when there is a fear of fitnah (temptation). And what greater fitnah is there than a person performing that act morning and evening which Allah Ta'aala has forbidden. By marriage a person satisfies his natural desires upon which he is created. He attains tranquillity, contentment of heart, a pleasant life and he frees himself from all such thoughts and dangers which invite him towards this vile act. For this reason you will find very few married youth who practice this bad habit except for those who have a reversed nature and blotted hearts. When some youth consider the matter of marriage very seriously shaytaan confronts them and places many hurdles in the path of marriage. Firstly, he reminds them that studying cannot continue with marriage. Secondly, he frightens them with the burden of earning a salary and thirdly, he scares them of the future and the responsibilities of marriage ... etc. Shaytaan continually misleads them placing in front of them obstacles upon obstacles until they divert their attention from marriage. He then beautifies haraam desires for them so that they may become entangled therein. He promises them that shortly they will leave this dirty and filthy habit once their condition improves and they are able to bear the burden of marriage. In this manner, this poor person drowns himself in the ocean of these false promises which only increases his attachment, ardent desire and persistency in this vile act until such time that he cannot free himself from it. O my beloved brother! make compulsory upon yourself the advice which Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam gave to the youth, leave aside that which shaytaan has promised you and rely on Allah, the Mighty, the Great. Allah Ta'aala says: "And he who relies on Allah, Allah is sufficient for him." (Surah Talaaq: verse 3) Hasten towards marriage, the door to all goodness, success and richness. Allah Ta'aala says: "And marry the spouseless amongst you and those slave-men and slave-women (who are virtuous). If they are poor, Allah will enrich them by His Grace." (Surah Noor: verse 32) In this aayah Allah Ta'aala has promised that He will grant richness to the poor through marriage. Allah Ta'aala has taken it upon Himself to help the person who marries with the intention of keeping himself chaste as Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wasallam has said: "Three persons are such that it is a right upon Allah Ta'aala to help them: 1. The person who strives in the path of Allah; 2. The Mukaatab (he who has a contract of freedom) slave who intends repayment and 3. The marrying person who intends chastity."

How many brothers are there who have married by taking a loan in order to keep themselves chaste. Allah Ta'aala knew their sincerity. Consequently, Allah Ta'aala opened a way for them, helped them and granted them abundance of rizq (sustenance).

A Final Word

Finally, my honoured brother! It should be clear that the matter demands an effort and sacrifice. Do not think that the treatment will be accomplished by taking a mere tablet or by drinking a mixture of medicine. Mujaahadah (sacrifice and striving) coupled with tazkiyah-e-nafs (cleansing of the inner self) is necessary. This can be achieved by worship and obedience, abstaining from evil and vice, from the company of the 'Ulema and participating in the work of Tableegh and Da'wah. All praise belongs to Allah, the Almighty, the Great and may Allah's Choicest Blessing and Peace be upon our Nabi, His Family and His companions. The printed version of this online booklet is published by:

Madrasah Arabia Islamia, P.O.Box 9786, Azaadville, 1750, South Africa Tel : (011) 413 2786, Fax : (011) 413 2638


By Mufti Ebrahim Desai

Question:

Assalam-O-Alaikum

I want to know something. I'm 22 years old boy and unmarried. I am suffering from bad habit. When I saw girls specially girls with nice looks, I feel something in me and that compelled me to masturbate. Well this becomes quite difficult for me to control myself.

You said in this sort of situation a person should perform "Nikkah". But it is impossible for me to perform "Nikkah". Because first I have to complete my studies than I'll marry. Tell me what really the solution of this problem. I am looking for prompt reply from you.

Wassalaam
Your brother

Answer:

Respected Brother-in-Islam

Wa alaykumus salaam

Allah Ta'ala has created man with innate carnal desires, and has made Nikah a lawful and dignified avenue to discharge these desires.

Under normal circumstances, Nikah is Sunnah. If a man's sexual desires reach a stage where there is a strong fear that he will be involved in Zina (fornication), it will then be Waajib (compulsory) for him to make Nikah. At this juncture, shyness is no excuse. The man will have to approach his elders and request them to make arrangements for his Nikah.

Nikah should not be delayed or avoided for fear of poverty and want. In the Ahaadith, we are told that Nikah creates Barakah in one's sustenance. Allah Ta'ala has taken it upon himself to assist that person who performs Nikah in order to protect his chastity. Nikah is a simple and inexpensive affair in Islam. The errant customs of societies have made it difficult for others. The solution is to abandon all such customs and conduct the Nikah strictly according to the Sunnah. Nikah, then will not be a burden, rather it will release one from a burden.

The next step would be to guard the gaze. It is, thus, imperative to strictly guard the gaze. Where it is practical, avoid all such situations where ones gaze may fall on Ghayr Mahram (women not prohibited in Nikah) females. TV, books, magazines, internet, newspapers, should be shunned.

Should one's gaze accidentally fall on some woman, immediately lower the gaze. This is not difficult. It only requires some courage and training. Some points that may assist in this are:

1. Consider that this is not a calamity but rather an opportunity to win a big prize. It is a once in a life opportunity to strike a huge windfall. In the Hadith, we are told that a person, who, after having been tempted, lowers his gaze, Allah Ta'ala will grant him the sweetness of Imaan. What more can one ask for? The one who has the sweetness of Imaan has everything. Others strive their entire life for this very goal of finding the sweetness of Imaan. Here is the opportunity to acquire this in a split second. Therefore, lower the gaze and in your heart make this transaction with Allah Ta'ala that, 'O Allah! I am lowering my gaze for you. So you grant me your share of the deal, i.e. the sweetness of Imaan.

2. By maintaining the gaze, one is in fact moving to the depths of Jahannum (hell). And by lowering the gaze, one is ascending the highest ranks of Jannah.

3. Consider the reality of the woman at whom one is gazing. If she does not groom herself or apply perfume for one day, she will look dreadful and stink. For a number of days every month she has impurity pouring out of her. If one had to just go near such impurity, one will wish to flee. Imagine if she went to the toilet and forget to flush and, if you had to enter the toilet, will you still have the desire to gaze at her? If this woman does not have Deen, then by raising her arms and exposing her unsightly armpits, she will give out the smell of a skunk. These are some thoughts (although undignified), will assist one in taming the evil desire to look at women.

4. Try as far as possible to remain in the state of Wudhu. In the Hadith, we are informed that Wudhu is the weapon of a Mu'min. With this weapon, it is much easier for him to thwart the onslaughts of Shaytaan.

5. Try to remain in the company of the true friends of Allah Ta'ala. The true friends are those that, when you sit with them they remind you of Allah Ta'ala and their company produces a desire for the Aakhirah (hereafter). The company of such people is extremely effacious in imbuing the obedience of Allah Ta'ala, and in cultivating an abhorrence to sin.

6. There must surely be somebody who you have a lot of respect for, e.g. your mother, father, grand parents, Ustaadh or Shaykh. Consider if that person was present, would you indulge in the evil of masturbating. The very fact that the presence of such a person will deter you is sufficient to show that you do have the strength to abstain from this evil. When the presence of such a person will be a cause for controlling one's desires, consider that fact that the Malaaikah (angels) are with you and are watching. Progress and consider that Allah Ta'ala is watching you. Do you not feel ashamed of His presence whereas you feel ashamed of the presence of a human being. Is this the degree of respect that Allah Ta'ala deserves?

May Allah Ta'ala save you and every Ummati from this evil, Aameen.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
 

Article taken (with Thanks) from Askmimam.org


Q:) I had a sister come to me yesterday in great distress. She confessed that she finds herself masturbating and is not sure what to do to stop. When she was younger she said that she had heard it was permissible to stay away from zina - (so how she started) - however growing and learning more she said she sincerely repented and asked Allah to keep her on the straight path.

This sister prays 5 times a day and is well respected. Her problem now is that she wakes up sometimes in the night in this (masturbating) state. She said she stops as soon as she realizes what she is doing. Her confusion is that she is not doing it intentionally. She was wondering how one would know if a jinn was touching her or making her do such things which she does not want to do and sincerely keeps asking Allah for guidance and forgiveness.


[For background relating to the impermissibility of masturbation, and general advice regarding it, see Related Q&A]

Bismillah

This may be an addiction or result of emotional strain.

The person involved should review her own history and see when she started masturbating and from that time till the present see exactly under what conditions, states, etc, she normally finds herself masturbating.

I think then from there we can move forward to narrowing down what we might advise.

Secondly, a jinn could be involved. If she:

1) is punctual with her prayers,

2) avoids major sins, and

3) watches what she eats, drinks, and wears to make sure they are 'halal' and sharia permissible,

then these activities will act as shields for her.

It will be of great benefit to recite:

1) Ayat al-Kursi (Qur’an, 2: 255), and

2) bismillah irrahman irrahim, bismillahi khairi il asma'i, bismillah illadhi la yadhurru ma' ismihi shayyun fil ardhi wa la fis samai' wa huwa ssami'ul aleem [`In the name of Allah the Merciful and Compassionate. In the name of Allah, the Best of Names. In the name of Allah, with whose name nothing in the earth or sky may cause harm, and He is the Hearing and Knowing’]

3 times after praying fajr and after praying maghrib.

My shaykh gave me this general wazifa which he himself reads.

Forward this info and get back with me,

Answered by Shaykh Naeem AbdulWali
http://www.sunnipath.com/

Rukhsah on Masturbation?

[Someone asked about a private case, but the answer may be of general benefit.]


Walaikum assalam,

There would be no "special dispensation" for the brother to masturbate! He would need to take all the means that scholars mention about controlling one's shahwa, including:

- Guarding one's gaze;
- Staying away from fitna;
- Asking Allah continually to free him from this problem;
- Involving himself with acts of worship, dhikr, etc, because the one who longs for the Infinite Beauty of the One turns to none else;
- Fasting;
- Removing the haram and doubtful from his life, especially in terms of food, money, and household "family sins" [television, free mixing, etc.]
- Whenever feeling overwhelmed with one's physical temptation to fulfill a lawful lust (food, etc.) to calm down his nafs. This was mentioned by Sayyidi Abd al-Ghani al-Nabulsi from Shaykh al-Akbar (Allah sanctify their secrets).

And Allah alone guides to the truth.

Wassalam,

Faraz Rabbani
http://www.sunnipath.com/


 

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