How to find Sakinah in the family?
Mohtaram Mufti sb.
I have gone through the website and found very
good information. In fact, I was looking for some online guidance as I
am worried about a few matters. Our family have all the time tension
without solid reasons, we do not have material problems, we have enough
resources as we all have grown up and are earning but we all remain
tense always and remain angry at each other without reasons, just on
small matters. We were not like that, we had the culture of mutual care,
love and respect but at present it is not like that. We all are worried,
the situation is like this from the last three years. Please guide us,
help us. I am writing to you from my office as I cannot concentrate on
my work today, I wish to find some solution because the tension is
affecting our productivity. I would mention here that our family is
honest, hardworking, do social work, love Islam and follow Islamic
principles and even studied in other countries. Therefore, I wish to
find solutions of our home problems from my religion.
x x x
Your email refers. I have noted the contents. Since you have not really detailed the exact and precise cause of the problems encountered by your family, it is difficult to offer you any specific advices.
the advice I will offer will be more of a general nature. These points
offer a general solution to most of the common problems in life.
3. Since "Sakinah" comes from Allah alone, it is very important that every effort must be made to please Him, keep Him happy and be obedient to Him. Thereafter, a person asks Allah to grant "Sakinah", and Allah will grant this "Sakinah" to such a person. Then if the person has nothing or little of the world, Allah will still grant him this special peace of mind just as he had done for our Nabi (sallallahu-alayhi-wasallam) and his friends.
4. The way
to please Allah is to follow all of Allah's orders, big and small. The
more a person becomes obedient, the closer he will be to Allah, the more
will be the peace of mind and happiness of this person.
5.1. Most important of all is to hold true and correct Aqeedah and Beliefs in one's heart. Even one incorrect belief is absolutely deadly.
5.2. Next is Salaah – 5 times a day. This is non-negotiable. For the validity of Salaah, there are some rules that have to be followed and this requires some basic knowledge.
5.3. So knowledge of all the basics of Islam is extremely important to acquire from reliable scholars or their books.
5.4. A person has to spare time to read the Quran daily and to remember Allah through Zikr as this leads to peace of mind.
5.5. One has to stay away from all sins, as these will nullify the effect of any good deeds done and will bring great misery; drinking alcohol, eating Haram, earning forbidden livelihood, using interest, listening to music, backbiting others, slandering people, being suspicious of others, jealous about them, having an illicit love relationship with a stranger, casting glances at strange men/women, etc. These are examples of some of the forbidden things.
6. Thereafter, for love and unity in the family, all members of the family must adopt a policy of tolerance, patience, Sabr and must fight tendencies of anger and spite. Family-based activities enhance the family bond.
Ta'ala solve all your problems and may He make your future a good and
happy one. Was-Salaam.
Article taken (with Thanks) from Darul-Ihsan Research and Education Center
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