Not Satisfied with the Husband and don't want to commit Haram

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Mufti Saheb


I am not Satisfied with my husband...I don't want to do any thing wrong or break his trust and also i dont want to go Against Islam !!! Asalamualaikum dear Imam. I'm going thru a very severe problem with my husband, he has sex with me only on weekends that too only once or twice a week, I spoke to him regarding this issue he says he will change but its 2 yrs for our marriage and still this is continuing in other parts he is Alhamdulillah very good, I always have that thing on my mind and feel ashamed of my self coz most of the time i have to take initiative, he ignores this issue, and says twice a week is more than enough. but I cant get that off my mind coz m not satisfied with him. plz Answer me as soon as possible as to what shall I do , As I do want to do Any thing against Islam?

We most certainly empathize with your situation. However Masha Allah you did not resort to haraam. May Allah Ta'ala reward you abundantly for this. As far as your problems many questions need to be answered. Has this pattern been from the very beginning/outset of marriage? When there is a relationship, does he respond positively? Does he enjoy the intimacy? Is there something off putting, that he has hinted towards? Or is it his libido? There are foods that stimulate the body vitality foods like dates meat etc. (books are available). Try to get the book on Sexual Etiquettes (In Islaam) -which encourages the husband to consider the feelings, emotional and physical needs. Also consider what other aspects, may affect body odors the need to entice/ build up emotions, worries???

Nevertheless no harm if you have to take the initiative it's fine, perhaps he enjoy this. Express what you require and enjoy and let him feel your love and appreciation. Don't be demotivated . On a positive level at least twice a week better than nothing respect that too from him and more so, that he cares and loves you. Many women don't even have this. Thank Allah Ta'ala for these bounties, for we learn if we thank Allah Ta'ala most definitely he will increase for you with emphasis on this. And with turning Allah Ta'ala you will enjoy such contentment even in your relationship such pleasure Insha Allah.

May Allah Ta'ala make it easy for you.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best


CHECKED & APPROVED: Mufti Ebrahim Desai.

Article taken (with Thanks) from


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This page was last updated on June 14, 2003 .